nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
