i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
