he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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