Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Randomize
