I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
