Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
