kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
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Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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