The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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