Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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