Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
