You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize