I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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