we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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