batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So many bounce houses so little time
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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