Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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