that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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