When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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