I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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