Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
