These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
