i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
