Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
