your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
