STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My life is pants optional.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
