Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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