I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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