Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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