Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Houston, we have a squirter
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
