You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't think brook has ever known best
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
