Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
