Non-Jews are for practice
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
