I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
