That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
