Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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