dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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