sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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