meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
