It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How external is "for external use only"?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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