remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
