Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
