i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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