Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
