I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
