Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I will pee on everything he values.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
