I just saw a hot homeless man
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
