I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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