My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
