I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
