so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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