i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
