I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
