Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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