Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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