Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
