so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
