Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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