From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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