"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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