wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude i'm inner monologue high
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
