I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
