why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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