oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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