I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
