So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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